Could not pass this up

After the seriousness of my last several blogs, I could not resist passing on this from my good buddy IJ. As I live in a cube farm, compared to his life on a real farm, I know first hand most of the below. Just didn't have a good handle for them. Thanks, IJ.

These are words you might not find on your "Word of the Day" calendar or webpage:
NEW WORDS FOR 2006 -- Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. (I've actually attending meetings exactly for this purpose.)

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. (Bush is a long-term Seagull Manager.)

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than by working hard. (I suck at this, hence my up and down career.)

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. (This used to be every day. Now I have a cool job; it only happens about once a week.)

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. (My life for the past 25 years. Happiness is a cool looking cube.)

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (For you few who are not in cube farms, this is one of the highlights of the day.)

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. (Does 12-16 hours a day count?)

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. (Currently, I'm suffering from lack of crisis anxiety.)

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Anna Nicole show or the Bachelor are prime examples. (For me, it's Survivor and American Idol. I can't imagine anyone desperate enough to watch Anna Nicole do anything, including Anna Nicole. Of Course, some people can't imagine anyone desperate enough to watch Survivor and American Idol.)

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Sometimes this actually works. I just got my speaker to work by slapping it upside the head.)

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. (Herein lies the heart of a good bureaucracy, wherest I lie, or am. I think I lie there, too, especially when putting together a budget.)

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message"404 Not Found" (meaning that the requested document, like the person's brain, could not be located.) (Finally, a definition of me.)

GENERICA: Features of the North American landscapes that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. (This is where I go for lunch.)

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (I've had a lot of these. Probably should have another one the second I post this blog.)

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks. (My parents happily woofed along for many years.)

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing through a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust (leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING). (I almost deleted this. Fortunately, no one where I work reads my blogs. No one else does either.)

I'm adding one:
EMPTY PARKING LOT: What I view stepping out of my building at 5:00:01 on Friday.

Response to the response

Did I make a mistake about graven images? As a Lutheran in confirmation, we studied the commandments, the same as the catholic version. When I broght up graven images, I was told it wasn't important. The response from my pastor still floors me, 43 years later. Not important? Although graven images is in everyone's Bible, it suffers from what is probably one of the greatest cover-ups in history.

A personal relationship with God is what the faith part of religion is about. The rest appears to be cultural, and as bad as this sounds, secular. People killing people based on their religion is an example of what not having faith is all about. To me, killing is the opposite of faith. And it doesn't just pertain to followers of the Bible. Followers of the Torah and Koran aren't following their own religions if they think killing those who think differently is OK.

Faith in God is personal. You can share your faith, but you can never make your exact faith be someone else's exact faith. You can never make your own exact faith be your own exact faith 100% of the time. What goes on in the mind is between you and God, and no one else will ever truely know.

What about one way to God? If only the Christian faith works (or Islam or Judiasm or Hindu or Buddist) are the rest condemned to hell? By the way, hell as revealed to me isn't a fierly pit with Al Pacino holding court. It is the absence of God. None of us know what hell is like because none of us have ever been without God.

I grew up a Christian, which means I believed all other religions were evil in they were leading their followers directly to hell. This remains the standard rule of many religions. But, at the same time, those with other religions, some believe they are in direct communication with God and their religion has been revealed as being correct. Do I know the answer to this? NOT A CLUE.

The Bible does say be a Christian or else, as probably do other holy books about their religions. The Bible does have the tiniest of loopholes. Both with the man on the cross getting in without mandatory baptism and a passage about those who didn't hear the Word but still live it having a chance. However, I'm not able to say, "Be a Christian or you are screwed for eternity" to anyone. I can speak for myself only. And leave the decision about who gets in and who doesn't to God.

One of the wonders of blogging is we can share different opinions, some probably more educated than others, and still be OK.

A response to my rant about catholics

This came from someone whose site is incredible and his thoughtfulness has to be shared. It is a response, but I posted it so those few who actually read my blog won't miss it. His blog is:

http://cantuar.blogspot.com/

I love Fiddler on the Roof.

However, I think you make a mistake in your accusations against the Catholic Church.Your objection about the 10 Commandments doesn't hold because the entire text is still included in the Catholic arrangement. Catholics do believe it is wrong make images and worship them as if they were God Himself.

Also, the Catholic Faith is not invalidated by the presence of sin and ignorance. John Paul II (a very holy man) acknowledged the presence of sin and ignorance amongst Catholics and even its leadership.

But even Christ had sinful followers and leaders. Judas betrayed Him. Peter denied Him and even cut off a fellow's ear in defiance of Christ.

Reading and writing has NEVER been banned by the Catholic Church. Even at the time of the Reformation, the laity could understand the Latin of the Mass and most had prayerbooks to help them. I'd encourage you to read Stripping of the Altars.

The killing of people is wrong. But Jews kill Palestinians and each other. Does that mean that Judaism is evil. Hindus and Muslims kill each other over religion. Again, why focus on Catholicism when warts can be found anywhere?

Reducing everything to "a personal relationship with God" sounds nice and satisfying. But at the end of the day, "personal relationships" require knowledge and communication.

If I don't know who my wife is, what her feelings, emotions, desires, thoughts, etc. are - How can I have a relationship with her?

At the end of the day we must to submit to God's revelation about Himself. That means there cannot be contradictions. Jesus, Mohammed, and Buddha can't be all be correct. Jesus said He was the Son of God and the only Savior of maknind. Mohammed said he was only a human prophet. Both can't be right.

Maybe I'm on a roll - or not

Snooped through blogs with the tag "The Da Vinci Code" and found this one

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060428/en_nm/vatican_davinci_dc_3

The most interesting comment to me was:

In his address to the group, Amato said Christians should be more willing "to reject lies and gratuitous defamation."

He said that if "such lies and errors had been directed at the Koran or the Holocaust they would have justly provoked a world uprising."

He added: "Instead, if they are directed against the Church and Christians, they remain unpunished."

This sums up my previous blog opinion about catholics. If I don't think exactly how their second most important person thinks, I must be punished. Which is what the catholic church was able to do right up until they lost power. I embrace The Da Vinci Code, not because I agree with it, which I don't, but because it enables (in some cases forces) people to think, compared to the established religion's preference of "don't think."

How can any one think someone's different opinion, called "lies or errors" here, should "justly provoke" anything? I'm invoking the he who is without sin, chuck the first rock theory. This isn't just for followers of Christ, but followers of the Torah and the Koran. If you read your own writing, the focus is not on kill everyone who doesn't perfectly agree with you. If that were the case, only one person could be left alive, and that person would have to commit suicide half the time.

Let people think. If the cream flows to the top, and the crap to the bottom, let the process happen. Even with the Da Vinci Code, God is still in charge.

"The Da Vinci Code" Thoughts

A line from Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code" tells you why it's easily the most disputed religious novel of all time: "Almost everything our fathers taught us about Christ is false."

I got this off the internet. I have read the book and listened to it. And I have listened to some of the rebuttals. Interesting, some of the rebuttals have more lies than the book itself.

I am very happy about the book and the movie. Not because it is factual, but because it is setting established religion on its nose, where it was 2,000 years ago, and where it should have stayed.

When I was a child, the RSV, just out, was considered blasphamy by the King James group, and still is today by some, despite the understanding the KJV had a few flaws in it. A recent spam (like yesterday) insisted the KJV was the only version "authorized" by God. Wow.

The catholic church ruled western religion for a thousand years, 400-1400, which coincidently were called the dark ages. Reading and writing were universally baned outside of a small in-group, prients, monks, and such. Even services were in a language unknown to the congragations. Corruption was normal. Killing by torture anyone with independent thoughts was normal. Killing women who were even slightly exceptional was normal. Killing people who tried to break away was normal. America was founded, in part, by those trying to get away from the church. Anything better now? In Washington alone, the priest rape price is going to be over $100 million before the victims are completely and properly paid off, with few prients going to (choke) "jail" for a crime that for everyone else jail is a given.

How accurate is the catholic church? Let's see.

The second commandment is on graven images, whoops. WRONG. The second commandment is the third commandment moved up a notch, and the tenth commandment is doubled. Cool. Now they can spend billions on images cause they rewrote the commandments.

How about marriage. How did Peter get a mother-in-law without being married? What happened to Paul saying a religious leader needed to be the husband of one wife? Doesn't work in the catholic church. How many popes fathered children? Oops.

People in glass houses have rock throwing issues. Any catholic complaining about false doctrine better go find a mirror.

I don't claim to have a clue about the validity of of the Da Vinci code or the correctness of religion or doctrine. I don't claim to know any answers about religion, faith, or spirituality, except one. If you have a personal relationship with God, you have something. If you don't, you don't.

Anyone who wants to know what I mean about having a personal relationship with God, watch Fiddler on the Roof. Just a movie, but Tevye shows what I'm talking about in a way not duplicated by anything else I've seen. And, it isn't even a Christian depiction.

Let's see. Where did that idea come from?

"And Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him." Gen. 5:24

Enoch did in the Bible what Tevye did in the movie. And what we all could be doing, if...

All of the rest of religion is smoke and mirrors. And the catholic church appears to have that market cornered. Not that the rest of established religion isn't trying to compete. And all of us including me, regardless of our religious affiliation, or the lack of, all of us want to point fingers. But, who is right? If you have a personal relationship with God, it doesn't matter who is right. And, if you don't have one, it also doesn't matter. Search your heart. Which do you have?

Channel Bouncing

Tonight it was a bounce between watching the Mariners and American Idol. I prefer American Idol for the most part, except for a couple of singers. For the Mariners, I like watching Ichiro bat, after that it trails off.

Sexton complained the other day that Ichiro took off running during his at bat. He forgot to mention for his last at bat, he took a called third strike for the third out while Ichiro languished at second. Sometimes when Ichiro runs, bad things happen. However, when he doesn't run, nothing happens.

The Mariners, now behind 11-0, play about as good as Kelly Pickler sings. Hopefully, between the two, only one will be around to torment next week. Although, if Kelly lasted another week because Taylor got voted out, I would be OK. Not much the Mariners can do, except make all of the other teams happy to be playing them. Not much American Idol can do, except hope the finalist can sing a little bit. Bo and Constintine were in the wrong competition. They would have been 1-2 in this one.

My American Idol top four: Paris, Mandisa, Katherine, Lisa. Oops, two are missing. Just like Kelly's and Taylor's singing.

Briscoe and Ebenezer

The dogs love having Briscoe home. Here he is playing catch with Ebenezer, who has the ball in his mouth, catching it on the fly. Please ignore the dandilions, as if I didn't have them, it would be just ground. I did mow them the next day.

Runners Book Two

Last night, Briscoe worked on my cover for Runners Book Two and came up with this. I wanted a sand dollar on a beach with runners. In about 20 minutes, he whipped this out. I think it's pretty cool looking.

Kid's home

Friday, I picked up Briscoe, my younger son, who is staying for Easter weekend. We did mondane things, ate dinner at an IHOP, drive through traffic, visiting with my barking group. We didn't have to do anything special because, despite the miles and the time apart, he is still the kid (does pick up the tab now) and I'm still the dad.

He's moving to France this year, so very far away. And, although I hate flying and cigarettes, I'm probably going to France sometime to visit. In a way this is sad, as already far away becomes really far away. In a way this is not sad. I probably never would make it to France, my family's ancestry country (Pelletier) if not for some reason. Nice is close to Italy, so maybe I'll even get to see the countryside from Under the Tuscan Sun, one of my favorite movies.

Then, if Jon and Jen ever get married and I finish Runners, I can have them honeymoon in the city of Jon's ancestry and know what I'm talking about for a change. Maybe.

Loren and Bobbi

Loren and Bobbi

Thirty-nine years ago as a senior in high school, my good bud Peggy talked me into a spring hike in the Olympic Mountains with her church youth group. Two members of the group were in choir with me, Loren, who sat next to me in the tenor section, and Bobbi, who played the piano. We expected a walk in the park, and were completely unprepared for the snow still piled everywhere.

Loren had a bit of a crush on Bobbi, the principal's daughter, and off limits for guys with date stuff (necking to be specific) on their minds. She was a very sweet girl, and I could understand Loren's interest.

Well, as the photo depicts, the hike went badly slogging through the snow and we gave up. I captured them together at the turn around point, about half way to our destination, Loren struggling in the snow while trying to pose next to Bobbi, watching him.

I graduated a few months later and never saw Loren again. But, I still remember him as being a really nice guy. So much so that he is included in my book Runners, as the guy Jon Perone sits next to in choir, along with his crush on Jenny, the piano player. The characters are not close to being the same people, but would not exist if not for Loren and Bobbi

Yesterday, I read Loren's obiturary at 54. So, Loren, although I haven't seen you in 39 years and probably never would had you continued, this is my farewell to you. As Mr. Hope said for us all, thanks for the memories.

And, as a reminder to myself, life isn't long enough. Don't let go of those really nice people in your life. Better to capture them on a snow day in spring than in a farewell blog.

Learned something new

Friday I took a class on how to assess buildings for earthquake potential. Yeah, right, like I'm an engineer or something. However, the class was much better than I could have imagined. Regular people can really do this, if they pay attention. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to conduct a high level assessment. Almost sound like a government employee, which of course, I am.

Anyway, much different from assessing revenue streams or funding distributions. (more government sounding stuff) Maybe I might even like doing this stuff for a living.